In fits and starts.

And here's why I missed New Year's Eve:

I was in the hospital! Hooray!

Christmas weekend, I was working at the barn by myself. My boss was on vacation, which I guess she's allowed to do once in awhile, so I was in charge of a bunch of horses, a bunch of cats and chickens, a llama and a cow. I can barely take care of myself for an extended length of time, so all that responsibility for two whole days really took a lot out of me. Sunday night, at home, my tonsil started to hurt. This isn't out of the ordinary, I have a lot of tonsil problems and sometimes before I get a cold or something they tighten up and get mad and then settle down. I took some Nyquil and tylenol and called it a night. It still felt bad on Monday morning, so I went about my business but made plans to go to the doctor the next day. Tuesday came and it was even worse, so I had my mom take me to the ER. I had two peritonsillar abscesses and it sucked! I had a very bad time partly because of my roommate's very annoying, very loud, and VERY Midwestern daytime (and once, at 11 pm) visitors, and the fact that I was on a clear-liquids-only diet because I could barely swallow my own spit. But my mom visited me every day, and my friends Katie, Julie, Jarred, and Dawn took time out from their lives to visit me too. My boss at the barn and her daughter rode my horse, my mom took care of Frankie for me, and I really appreciate everyone's kind words, thoughts, and actions during that time.

I basically spent a week in the hospital, trying to get better. I was stuck in a no-man's-medical-land, where I wasn't quite "better" enough to go home, but not bad enough to commit to a surgery. So I stayed in and got pumped full of fluids and antibiotics and steroids and now I have a big fat huge hospital bill and have to make an appointment to take out these tonsils - which I can't afford. Hooray.

Also, I got dumped while I was in the hospital, and that was awesome, and by awesome I mean, 'what the fuck is wrong with people?'

But here's some good news, guys.

I rule.

Here are some examples:

In my brand-new Drawing 1 class, our first assignment is to draw a lightbulb. Prof told us if we thought we were "good" at drawing to choose one of the translucent bulbs instead of the opaque ones. I did. I asked him if I could do something to jazz up the drawing, like include my hand. He looked at me a little funny and said "Uhh, sure. It'll be hard though..." and I shrugged and said "have a little faith in me!" Well, I showed him my compositional sketch:



and he said: "Wow. I didn't think you'd be able to do that. Hands are difficult to draw. You can draw, though. And you can draw hands. We're going to have fun this semester!" I did tell him that I'm fairly good at drawing what I see, but I have problems with unlocking my pretty vivid imagination and making my hands draw from that, rather from my eyes. So he said he'll work with me on to develop that. Color me happy.

For my painting class, I'm not displeased with my first project. I'm NOT a painter, I'm not good at it, I don't understand paints, they don't understand me. Apart from this being a required course for my major, I'd like to develop my painting skills *a little.*

It's not the greatest still life, but it's not the worst, I think. Also, it's my first still life painting, ever. So there's that!



Here's another reason I rule:
I've been doing awesome on my resolutions. I have tried to be creative every day, in some way shape or form. It hasn't always been awesome, but every little bit counts. I shopped locally/handmade - I went to a few Detroit small-businesses to get stuff to send to my lovely Sharon in New York, and I supported local (and national) artists like Perfect Laughter at 323 East. I've been more appreciative of things and people in my life. I've tried new things (an okra/split pea fritter at Slows, different kinds of nigiri sushi I've never thought to try before like scallops, yellowtail, red snapper, eel), and made something new at home (maple glazed salmon with ossau iraty risotto and garlic asparagus - see pic below!). I've been saying "I'm sorry" less and less. I donated batteries and hand sanitizer to the Art Department's supply drive for the Humane Society in the first week.

And I haven't fallen for anyone yet. Though I do have a few crushes. That's nothing new.

It's gonna be a good year.

delicious foods

New Year's Real Solutions.

So, I'm kind of a week late because I kind of missed out on doing New Year's Eve (that's for another entry yet, I promise). Tonight I did a do-over NYE, continuing a family-and-friend tradition that's gone on for the past 18 years, at least: the kids I used to babysit come over and we get buffet food and go to Meijer and load up on more sugar and snacks, we go play video games and board games, and ring in the New Year with confetti. It's no raucous party, it's no explosive celebration, but it is my New Year's. This year we did it without the confetti, because I didn't feel like cleaning up the mess (and it gets verymessy), but the rest of night was the same so now I'm officially considering it 2010.

New years mean new starts!

Here are some resolutions. Some real ones. Real solutions. Wow, that worked out handily, didn't it? Some are new, some are old, like the ones that spring up every year but maybe with some slight changes so as to differentiate them from previous, unsuccessful years, and some work in concert with each other: similar concepts with different end-results.

*be creative(outside of school) EVERY day. Doesn't matter how small a show it is. Sit down and write a very short short story. Draw a doodle. Make a craft. Something. Somehow. It doesn't take long. I need to get over my creative blocks and realize that just because I'm in art school doesn't mean I can't make art outside of it.

*contribute in some way or another, every week, to the new Detroit blog my mom and I set up: http://detroitbitbybit.blogspot.com. (though this also falls under the creativity umbrella, it's got an actual purpose in my mind's eye, so it warrants a separate resolution)

*be more active as a Metro-Detroiter, for Detroit's sake. In the past year I've made a ton of new friends who are really devoted to Detroit, and my love affair with the city is going through a renaissance. I've been really lucky to have these people in my life and moreover, to have this city in my life, even though she and I haven't always seen eye to eye.

*add more "handmade" into my life, buying *and* selling (locally, etsy, etc) and reduce my commercial consumerism.

*be more grateful/appreciative, for all the myriad wonderful things in my life. Too often, I get bogged down in the bad times, the bad things. I don't say thank you enough. Thank you. I said it. It's a start.

*become more active in some aspects online (blogging, finally setting up a real website for blogging and arts/creative stuff, etc.) and less in some aspects (uhm, Bejeweled Blitz on facebook? Looking up questions to the random, pointless questions that race through my brain at any minute? Unnecessary.)

*stop saying sorry so much, and think about why I'm saying it when I do use it.

*cook more, goshdarnit, and use locally-grown/locally-produced ingredients whenever possible. I'm not a *talented* cook, but I have faith I can learn. When not cooking at home (and, well, even when cooking at home) try new things! After an involuntary week of a clear-liquids-only diet, my taste buds are crying out for new experiences. Who am I to deprive them? Foodie-land, here I come. My palate has expanded considerably just in the past year, and there's no reason to stop where I'm at now. Old dog, new tricks.

*be healthier overall. Normally I want to lose xx amounts of pounds, and though I'm not 100% happy with my weight right now, I'm generally feeling pretty good & confident about my body. As long as I'm making a concerted effort to get out and do more/run more/whatever more/and take in less, then I'm not going to worry about the numbers on the scales. I have 2 mostly-working legs, a paid-for membership at my school's gym, a dog who loves to run, and a horse who needs riding. It'll work itself out.

*ACTUALLY keep track of every book I read this year, and write at least a few sentences about what I thought about it. I've tried this every year for the past 3 years and each time peter out at the halfway mark, it seems. I'm always reading, I always have a notebook with me, and it takes like four seconds to write a few sentences.

*do not fall for just anyone. This is the most important. I feel like this could be a big year for falling, so I don't want to waste it. I've done that enough the past few years. You won't fool me again.

*I almost forgot this one, but it's kind of silly. Maybe not. The art department at my school is running a supply drive for the Michigan Humane Society, in memory of a former art supervisor. I'm making it my goal to donate at least one thing, once a week, till the drive is over at the end of the semester. Baby steps to greatness.

What are yours? Do you bother? I do every year and fail every year. I suppose my last one should be:

*do not fail at the resolutions this year.