Author oh, rebecca. Category ,

Today we will have a little discussion about ownership.

Something happened today which brought to mind an incident Sharon told me about awhile ago, where her coworker happened upon her looking at pictures on Facebook of a friend's baby. Said coworker, for some reason, assumed the baby was Sharon's, ignoring the fact that it was a newly-newborn (which would cause alerts to go off for all sorts of reasons, not least of all because why in the hell would Sharon be back at work so shortly after giving birth?) and that Sharon didn't have any pictures of said baby anywhere around her workspace (mostly because it's NOT HERS). Sharon and I guffawed about this and applied it to all sorts of things: If I look at a picture of a Porsche online, it's mine. If I look at a stack of money online, it's mine. If I look at a fancy warmblood, it's mine. Logic!

So what happened today?

I was innocently sitting in the breakroom at work, wasting my 15 minute break on my various web-addictions. I happened to be sitting next to a (rather ugly) sparkly red mini Christmas tree someone had placed on the table. A coworker comes in, and seeing the tree next to me, asks if it's mine. I also want to let you know that this is the SECOND time this week that I've been asked that question, because apparently I repeatedly make the mistake of sitting next, or in close proximity to, the tree.

What the fuck?

First of all, that tree has been in the breakroom for over a week now, minding its own business, sitting in the same spot on the table the whole time. I can't be the only person who's sat next to the tree. I can't. Yet I get asked, twice by my witless coworkers, if it's mine.

Should the theory of "if you look at it online, it must be yours" be extended to include "if you sit next to it, it must be yours"? I really hope so, because I'll make it a point to sit next to cute boys, expensive jewelry, and anything else I want but can't have.

Dear gosh.

Let's look a little closer at this whole scenario, and maybe put ourselves in the mind of the coworker asking me if it's mine. What logic dictates the question? Does Rebecca seem insane enough to carry around a sparkly red Christmas tree with her everywhere she goes? If Rebecca does own the tree but is not insane enough to carry it around with her, is she so insecure about its safety and well-being that whenever possible, she sits next to it so as to provide it with some stability and comfort? Wouldn't that make her even more insane? Do my coworkers really see me that way?

I'm hoping not. I'm thinking not. The two coworkers who asked me aren't exactly the brightest bulbs in the bunch. So I'm hoping.

But still.


s-h-a-r-o-n said...

I agree with your ownership theory. I just looked at the new beyonce CD, a big cheesy pizza and a hot tub.

bluevinegar said...

Rob here. I for the life of me have no clue on how to subscribe to your blog, but I just thought I'd comment. After letting my old livejournal (ick) lie dormant for almost three years here I am creating a new one. You are more than welcome to subscribe or check out mine. Oh, and I checked out this break room-Xmas tree post on Xmas day a few weeks ago and seriously LOL'ed. I guess it's retail, but my co-workers sound exactly the same.

brschneider said...

Found you!

You should update more often.

bex said...

hi Rob! I'll check out your blog. I need to get more on board with updating this, I guess that'd be easier if I had anything real to say other than the events of my day (which is usually what I'd do). Maybe I'll start think of interesting things to say someday, when I'm interesting! Haha!

bex said...

B: you are one to talk. you need to update... period! :)

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